Shannen Doherty revealed that her cancer battle and impending divorce from her husband coincided earlier this year.
On the debut episode of her new podcast, "Let’s Be Clear with Shannen Doherty," the actress shared that she went into surgery to remove a brain tumor in January after learning her husband had allegedly cheated on her.
"I went into that surgery early in the morning and I went in after I found out that my marriage was essentially over, that my husband had been carrying on an affair for two years," she said. "To not go in that surgery, even though, being very clear, he wanted to go, I couldn't go into that surgery with him there. I felt so betrayed."
"At the end of the day, I just felt so incredibly unloved by someone I was with for 14 years, by someone I loved with all my heart," Doherty continued, adding that she had her mother, brother and friends by her side.
SHANNEN DOHERTY'S BRAIN SURGERY IMPACTED HER MOTOR SKILLS: 'I COULDN'T HOLD A GLASS'
Though she’s focused on her health and the future, the "Charmed" star admitted it’s been overwhelming, especially with the end of her marriage.
"Just to have to go through all of that while trying to figure out if you’re going to get a frickin' divorce and trying to get to the truth of that," she said.
Doherty said she was "obsessed" for months with finding the truth about her husband’s infidelity, "through conversations, expecting someone to be honest with me."
"If you share 14 years together and you cheated, doesn’t that person deserve the absolute truth regardless of how much that hurts them? If they’re the ones asking for it, if they’re the ones saying, ‘Listen, I get it, I may cry, I may get angry, and this may really suck to hear, but I need to hear it because I need closure and this is how I get my closure.’ So I had a lot of months of trying to figure out what I was going to do," she explained.
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She was surprised she tried so hard to understand the situation because she described herself as being "hardcore" against cheating, saying, "If you cheat on me, you’re out."
"Then when someone you really, really love, someone that you regard as your absolute best friend in the world, when you’re lied to and you discover they cheated on you, or they finally tell you they’re cheating on you because they’re riddled by guilt or whatever, I didn’t walk away. I couldn’t. I was so confused."
The "Beverly Hills, 90210" star said part of her confusion was a side effect from her brain surgery, explaining, "I was so confused, and I was also on steroids and a lot of stuff from brain surgery because they didn’t want my brain to swell."
Doherty married photographer Kurt Iswarienko in 2011 and filed for divorce in April of this year. She was previously married to Ashley Hamilton from 1993 to 1994, and Rick Salomon from 2002 to 2003.
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Doherty said as she struggled with her decision, she actually spoke with the "girlfriend of two years that he cheated on me with."
"And honestly, it’s still really hard. Yes, I made the decision to file for divorce, but I have a lot of memories with this person," the 52-year-old shared.
Doherty initially stated she took responsibility for "the demise of our marriage," but then paused and said, "Actually that’s not true."
"I do not take responsibility for the demise of our marriage, I take responsibility for some of the issues in our marriage," she stated. "I take responsibility not only because of how I was but because of how cancer impacted my marriage and how it impacted him the second time around."
She continued, "Some of the decisions that I made that he may not have agreed with, and his fear, so I do take responsibility for some of that. I do not take responsibility for the demise of our marriage because I am not a quitter. If somebody is still showing me loyalty and respect and love, I’m going to hang in there. I’m going to try my hardest.
Doherty continued, saying the breakup "was embarrassing."
"I am horrified that I can’t keep a relationship together. I think it is a reflection on me, but this one, I think, this one is on him. But still I don’t want to be a failure in life," the actress said.
She added, "I’ve failed three times at marriage, but I still believe in love."
