Happy Monday, everybody. So while Hunter Biden abuses the arts, Alvin Bragg sniffs his own farts. Hunter, the most successful crackhead the world has ever seen, is returning to New York this week to exhibit his awful abstract artwork at a Soho art gallery. I haven't seen a mess like this since that time I took a laxative with four bags of Skittles. It was for Pride Month. I was trying to poop a rainbow. Hunter was spotted at the gallery over the weekend, even as a congressional committee is trying to find out who the hell is paying between 75 and 500 grand each for his crappy paintings. Although that looks pretty good, I have to say.
Maybe he does have talent. Meanwhile, in Arkansas, a judge ordered Hunter's financial records to be shielded from the public as he tries to lower his child support payments to London Roberts. She's the dancer he knocked up while he was banging his brother's widow and sleeping with the brother's widow sister-in-law or something. I'd say do the math, but we have two women on the panel.
A SEXIST WOULD SAY!
And what kind of poverty can Hunter be claiming as a reason to lower these payments? What, he doesn't have enough cash to buy diapers for his kid and his dad? He's also trying to keep his illegitimate daughter, Navy Joan, from taking the Biden name, which you got to ask, how will she ever make a living if she can't trade on that name? But maybe when she turns five, she'll be qualified to join an oil company's board of directors. Well, of course, this is happening as Donald Trump is under indictment in Manhattan. A precedent that can't mean good news for the current president's pampered progeny. I mean, if we're going to start prosecuting rich, powerful men for paying off sex workers. Oh, let's not forget Congress, who used to pay off sexual harassment suits through taxpayer-funded accounts. They had a slush fund for sleaze. And remember that Bill Clinton paid 850 grand to settle the Paula Jones suit. That's classic Bill, though. Thousands to settle a suit and not a dime to dry clean a dress. A stain on his presidency.
Unrelated question where was Chelsea Clinton when Epstein was murdered? Yeah, you can't answer it, can you? I rest my case. But really, buying Stormy Daniels' silence might not have been Trump's best idea ever, especially since it didn't work. It just goes to show you even 130 grand can't convince a woman to stop talking.
A BLACKMAILED SEXIST WOULD SAY!
Point is, we know this is political because it's always political and it might be harmless were it not for the opportunity costs. Meaning, what do you miss when everyone's on a political witch hunt? Well, Islamic terrorists, for one, while we were impeaching Clinton, what were they up to? They were making plans for 72 virgins, just like Clinton. But they had already bombed the World Trade Center in 93. And yet, years later, we still took our eyes off the ball and like Monica Lewinsky, put them squarely on Bill's. And Trump's first impeachment happened while COVID erupted out of China. We lost two months in that battle because the media chose to focus on the orange monster instead of the Red Menace. Makes you wonder how many lives could have been saved if the media and politicians had done the right and urgent thing first. But they didn't. They were too busy kissing Andrew Cuomo's ass and being kissed back. And now a huge story broke last week. AI researchers pleaded with us to shut down the tech for at least six months. That's roughly the time it takes to recover from a hair transplant.
Just making a comparison. A letter signed by Elon Musk and Apple's co-founder Steve Wozniak stressed that a superhumanly smart A.I. that gets beyond our control spells death for all of us. I only hope I'll be spared as a sex slave. Looking forward to it. I volunteered, actually, to my toaster, but that was the day before the indictment news, which is now a forever ago. You notice what all three have in common? Terror, COVID, AI? They are deadly things that can get away from us if we aren't watching. That's how I lost my pet python Chokie in this studio an hour ago. And so another opportunity to prevent suffering is squandered on the altar of political vengeance. It's a hunting party and you're among the prey. You ever see this movie?
VIDEO FROM THE MOVIE "THE HUNT"
That's from three years ago. It's insane. But damn if it didn't predict the hunt. Since then, parents were called domestic terrorists. January 6 demonstrators jailed in mass. Kids are now medical subjects for delusional activists. The IRS hires 80,000 agents and stocks a reporter while he's speaking truth to power. BLM rioters get payouts instead of prison. And when kids got killed at a school, the White House said we must protect the trans. It certainly feels like we are the problem from their perspective, not fentanyl or the homeless or the border. Nope, it's us. At least until the world ends due to climate change. And AOC says we have only 12 months left.
